{Diary Entry #03} Incorporating my Writing Life (or trying to, at least)

enero 14, 2019

So I won a (tiny) grant for undergraduate research, for which I have to write an article. As you may or may not know, I actually love writing. Yes, even academic writing. I think I'm good at it, and I have a grand time doing it.

The only problem is, I've never done it with publication in mind.

And, as it turns out, it's terrifying.

Luckily, browsing through mi Uni library for summer reads with the article at the back of my mind, I found this (amazing) book. It was so by chance and it's been such a great experience reading it so far, that I cannot help but consider it academic-fairy sent.

The book starts by addressing some common problems related to academic writing and writing in general, all of which were so spot on I could've wept into the books arms. Belcher is that academic mom all scholars (especially young ones such as myself) need and so seldom get. 

The main advise is straight-forward, and confirms one of my resolutions for this year: WRITE (or how Belcher puts it: "Successful writers write"). Every. Single. Day. Your life will probably never become less busy, or not significantly so. You will never have a whole day to write, and your brain wouldn't be able to handle it either way so don't bother. Just get on and write whenever you can, wherever you can. (This also makes sense to me as an avid reader; people are always asking me how I read so much and really this is the answer.)

The book also contains a bunch of exercises/templates to help you achieve your writing routine sweet spot. One of the initial ones is to write short paragraphs regarding your feelings towards writing and I thought it'd be a good idea to share it on my blog, as someone who aspires to share her writing more easily in the near future.

My Feelings about My Experience of Writing

I love writing but I often feel I'm only doing it on "stolen moments". While I'm writing I enjoy it, but as someone with ADD is easy for me to get distracted. Whoever, when I get in the zone, no one can really stop me. I often program big chunks of time to write which are unrealistic and I get side-tracked. I definitely used to be one of those "I'll leave the whole weekend to write" people, but I'm trying to change that this year. The idea of showing my writing to somebody else is daunting, as I am so much of a perfectionist that I fear I would never be able to forget (especially in the case of unalterable products). Criticism is harsh on me because of this; I fear I'll feel less-than and get discouraged. I also fear being vulnerable about my ideas, which is something I want to become better at. Until reading this book, I hadn't really thought of sharing as room for improvement, or writing as a more social process. I've always wanted to, but something has always stopped me. I hope this won't happen anymore. I also procrastinate a lot when it comes to start writing, maybe precisely because it feels so big and daunting. Especially with essays that are important.

Common Elements in My Negative Feelings about Writing

Fear. I would say that is the main negative feeling. Procrastination, insecurity, closing-off... all stem from my fear of failure. I must get over this, in order to thrive as a writer in all fields. 

Lessons to Be Learned from My Positive Experiences of Writing

I love doing it. (: Once I get over the harsh voice in my head, I am able to produce things. I need to get better at the revision-with-others thing, because it will probably be a huge part of my life.

I can do this!
I will do this.

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